Why Your Goals Keep Failing: The Missing Piece No One Talks About
We’ve all been told to set goals. Success coaches, self-help books, and productivity gurus all emphasize the importance of having clear objectives.
But here’s the problem: most people focus only on setting goals and ignore the things that could sabotage them—what I call anti-goals.
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This could be the missing piece if you’ve ever wondered why you keep setting goals but never seem to reach them. Today, we’re going to break down:
- The difference between goals and anti-goals
- Why success is about direction, not speed
- The power of systems and leverage
- How to balance life using the dimmer switch principle
- A framework for applying this across faith, family, fitness, finances, and fulfillment
Let’s dive in.
Direction Over Speed: Goals & Anti-Goals
In The Five Types of Wealth, Sahil Bloom says:
Life is about direction, not speed.
That statement stuck with me because most people believe success is about moving fast. But speed means nothing if you’re heading in the wrong direction.
What Are Goals?
Goals set your compass—they define where you want to go. Whether it’s financial freedom, a stronger family bond, or a healthier body, goals provide clarity and motivation.
What Are Anti-Goals?
Anti-goals are the things that could sabotage your success. They are the habits, distractions, or choices that pull you away from your goals.
Think of it like this:
- Goals → What you want to achieve.
- Anti-goals → What you need to avoid to stay on track.
Most people don’t think about anti-goals, but they’re just as important. They aren’t random obstacles life throws at you. They are choices you control.
Examples of Goals vs. Anti-Goals
- Goal: Build a strong relationship with your family.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid allowing social media, work, or distractions to steal your time.
- Goal: Achieve financial stability.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid taking on unnecessary debt or making impulsive purchases.
- Goal: Get in the best shape of your life.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid eating habits that lead to sluggishness and weight gain.
Success isn’t just about setting goals. It’s about identifying the things that could pull you off course and making the decision to eliminate them.
The Power of Systems & Leverage
Another key concept Sahil Bloom talks about is systems and leverage—and I believe these are the real drivers of success.
Systems: Your Daily Execution Plan
A goal without a system is just a wish. Systems are the daily habits and routines that move you forward.
Here’s where most people fail: they wake up reacting to the day instead of controlling it.
- They stay up too late.
- They hit snooze.
- They start the day in chaos.
A strong system eliminates this. It puts you in a position to win the day before the world even wakes up.
Leverage: The Force Multiplier
Leverage is what takes your efforts and multiplies the results. But here’s most people's mistake: they chase high-leverage moves before they’ve built consistency.
Instead, do this:
- Build a system—Something you do daily, no matter what.
- Be consistent—Small actions compound into massive results.
- Leverage comes later—You earn high-leverage moves over time.
For me, waking up early is leverage. By the time most people start their day, I’ve already worked on my priorities.
If you master your systems and leverage, success becomes inevitable.
The Five F’s: A Framework for Success
I apply this concept across five core areas of life:
- Faith – Your mindset, beliefs, and personal growth.
- Family – Relationships and the time you invest in them.
- Fitness – Physical health, longevity, and energy.
- Finances – Wealth-building, stability, and security.
- Fulfillment – Your creative and personal passions.
Each area needs both a goal and an anti-goal.
Faith
- Goal: Strengthen your belief, take risks, and grow spiritually.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid negative influences that weaken your faith.
Faith stretches you. But if you let negativity and doubt creep in, it diminishes over time. Be mindful of what you consume—what you read, listen to, and who you surround yourself with.
Family
- Goal: Build deeper relationships with loved ones.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid distractions that pull you away.
One of my favorite stories is about Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys. He bought the team not just for success, but so his family could work together. That’s intentionality. What’s your vision for your family?
Fitness
- Goal: Stay strong, mobile, and healthy.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid unhealthy habits that slow you down.
You don’t have to be a bodybuilder, but you do need to maintain strength, mobility, and energy. Fitness isn’t just about how you look—it’s about how you function.
Finances
- Goal: Achieve financial security and freedom.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid debt and financial traps.
Most people set financial goals without actually doing the math. They say, “I want $5 million,” but when you break it down, a great life costs far less than you think. The key is intentionality.
Fulfillment
- Goal: Have a creative outlet that excites you.
- Anti-Goal: Avoid getting lost in busyness and neglecting what fuels you.
You need something that lights you up. It could be writing, music, photography, or building something. Without it, everything else starts to feel empty.
Balance is a Dimmer, Not a Switch
Most people think balance is an on/off switch—it’s not. It’s a dimmer.
- Sometimes, fitness takes priority. Other times, you shift to family.
- Your financial grind may intensify, but not at the cost of faith or fulfillment.
- It’s about adjusting, not shutting things off completely.
Think of the dimmer switch on your car’s dashboard. You don’t always max out everything—you adjust based on the situation.
The same applies to life.
Your Action Plan
Here’s what I want you to do:
- Write down your goals in each of the five F’s.
- Define your anti-goals—the things that could sabotage them.
- Identify your systems—what daily actions will move you forward?
- Find your leverage—where can you gain an advantage?
- Look at your settings—where do you need to adjust the dimmer?
This isn’t a plan to set it and forget it. Success isn’t about making one big decision—it’s about constantly refining your approach.
You’re not just setting goals—you’re setting conditions for success.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been setting goals but not getting the results you want, it’s time to rethink your approach. Factor in your anti-goals, build strong systems, use leverage, and adjust your settings along the way.
You’ll be surprised at what happens when you do.
Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
Let me know in the comments—what’s one anti-goal you’re committing to avoid? Download your free worksheet here.
Hear the full episode on What's Your Problem? Podcast with Marsh Buice. You can find it on www.marshbuice.com, your favorite podcast platform, or on YouTube.