Feb. 10, 2025
888: Remember the Bad, Stack the Good: The Mindset Shift That Fuels Success
In this episode of What’s Your Problem?, we’re diving into a mindset shift that could change the way you approach success, failure, and personal growth. Inspired by Tolstoy’s quote, "Remember the Bad, Stack the Good," we break down why productively remembering your struggles keeps you sharp—and why dwelling too long on your wins can make you complacent.
You’ll learn:
- Why the only thing you can coast into is failure
- How a healthy fear of the past keeps you growing
- Why short-term success can be a trap if you stop working
- The key to stacking wins without losing your edge
This one is packed with hard truths and real strategies to keep moving forward. Listen now and stay ahead. 🚀🔥
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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.390 --> 00:00:00.629
All right.
00:00:00.629 --> 00:00:01.649
3, 2, 1. Let's get it.
00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:06.179
Welcome to "What's Your Problem?" the podcast I'm your host Marsh Buice here on What's Your Problem?
00:00:06.179 --> 00:00:08.429
We're going to give you the necessary skills.
00:00:08.939 --> 00:00:10.259
To handle the adversity.
00:00:10.659 --> 00:00:12.628
Embrace uncertainty and never settle again.
00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:14.400
That's what's your problem?
00:00:14.788 --> 00:00:18.989
It's one at one of those things, adversity, uncertainty, or complacency.
00:00:19.699 --> 00:00:24.239
Today we're going to dive into a mindset that could shift the way that you approach your life.
00:00:24.989 --> 00:00:25.829
Your goals.
00:00:26.129 --> 00:00:33.088
And your growth and I call it,"Remember the bad. But stack the good." And it's inspired by a quote.
00:00:33.689 --> 00:00:35.118
That I absolutely love.
00:00:35.719 --> 00:00:52.369
From Tolstoy, Tolstoy wrote, "Remember all the bad things you have done. And this will help you avoid doing more. But, and there's always a, but if you remember the good things you have done, Well, that will prevent you from doing anymore.".
00:00:53.329 --> 00:00:54.020
I love this.
00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:57.049
So think about that for a second.
00:00:57.380 --> 00:00:59.000
And let's unpack it.
00:00:59.899 --> 00:01:02.210
First let's talk about remembering the bad.
00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:04.790
And when I say, remember the bad.
00:01:05.090 --> 00:01:06.019
It sounds like.
00:01:06.530 --> 00:01:09.019
I'm just putting you into this victim mindset.
00:01:09.049 --> 00:01:10.099
It's not about that at all.
00:01:10.099 --> 00:01:12.049
It's not about dwelling on your mistakes.
00:01:12.349 --> 00:01:16.340
It's not about kicking the can down the road, being yourself, up playing the victim.
00:01:16.370 --> 00:01:17.269
Woe is me.
00:01:17.269 --> 00:01:18.170
Why is this happening?
00:01:18.379 --> 00:01:19.549
It's not about that at all.
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:26.209
Remembering the bad is what I call productively, remembering and productive remembrance.
00:01:27.140 --> 00:01:28.340
Is where you pay attention.
00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:30.530
Now I love that phrase.
00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:31.519
Pay.
00:01:32.150 --> 00:01:35.420
Attention you ever think about why we say pay attention?
00:01:35.870 --> 00:01:37.670
Because when you pay for something.
00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:39.890
You're making an investment.
00:01:40.370 --> 00:01:42.109
You're taking deliberate action.
00:01:42.780 --> 00:01:44.250
Paying attention is the same.
00:01:44.790 --> 00:01:46.888
So you're investing your focus.
00:01:47.698 --> 00:01:49.650
And you're actively staying sharp.
00:01:50.638 --> 00:01:51.900
And refusing the coast.
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:54.009
Because, let me tell you something.
00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:55.540
The only thing that you can coast.
00:01:56.588 --> 00:01:57.489
Is into failure.
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:02.409
See when you stop paying attention, stop paying attention.
00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:05.109
This is when you relax into complacency.
00:02:05.739 --> 00:02:07.569
And this is where the erosion starts.
00:02:08.229 --> 00:02:09.338
And eventually.
00:02:09.729 --> 00:02:12.069
Remember the timeline we're on eventually.
00:02:12.069 --> 00:02:12.610
And ultimately.
00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:14.050
Eventually.
00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:17.740
Things are gonna start perpetuating.
00:02:18.219 --> 00:02:20.019
And ultimately you're going to fail.
00:02:20.740 --> 00:02:22.360
Not because of the circumstances.
00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:29.050
It's not the circumstances, but because you stop making the adjustments, so you weren't paying attention.
00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:32.709
And so you choose to ignore.
00:02:33.399 --> 00:02:34.810
And be like, oh, I'll deal with that.
00:02:34.810 --> 00:02:36.069
You got complacent.
00:02:36.939 --> 00:02:41.960
And you thought it was just going to kind of handle itself., You lost your awareness.
00:02:43.169 --> 00:02:45.000
And then boom, and all cascaded.
00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:47.789
See, all you had to do was keep the minors minor.
00:02:47.789 --> 00:02:48.870
They'll never become major.
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It's what I always say.
00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:53.669
So when you pay attention, You're adjusting.
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:55.560
To those circumstances.
00:02:56.069 --> 00:02:57.000
In real time.
00:02:57.979 --> 00:02:59.840
That's why healthy fear of bad.
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:01.610
Is important.
00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:05.870
I mean, think about all of the darkest places that you've been.
00:03:06.469 --> 00:03:07.699
Maybe you were overweight.
00:03:08.149 --> 00:03:11.300
Maybe you were drinking too much toxic relationships.
00:03:11.750 --> 00:03:13.039
Financial struggles.
00:03:13.610 --> 00:03:14.389
Bankrupt.
00:03:15.050 --> 00:03:16.459
Maxed out, whatever.
00:03:16.490 --> 00:03:18.019
Just think about fired.
00:03:18.718 --> 00:03:21.568
Whatever it was that healthy fear of the bad things.
00:03:22.288 --> 00:03:24.239
Is what keeps you motivated?
00:03:24.748 --> 00:03:25.679
To never go back.
00:03:26.729 --> 00:03:27.688
In one of his books.
00:03:27.688 --> 00:03:28.889
I don't remember which one it was.
00:03:28.889 --> 00:03:31.258
I remember Ryan Serhant talking about this.
00:03:32.038 --> 00:03:34.199
He's a real estate mogul today in New York.
00:03:34.229 --> 00:03:36.989
But he wasn't always that way.
00:03:37.500 --> 00:03:42.149
So he said every single day, He works to distance himself from the place that he's been.
00:03:42.538 --> 00:03:46.139
His rock bottom was when he decided to change his life.
00:03:46.468 --> 00:03:49.528
Become a real estate broker in New York city.
00:03:50.139 --> 00:03:51.098
and 9/11 hit.
00:03:51.128 --> 00:03:54.818
So he decides to take control over his life.
00:03:55.549 --> 00:03:56.598
He gets hired.
00:03:57.669 --> 00:03:59.288
To become a real estate broker.
00:04:00.239 --> 00:04:01.449
911 hits.
00:04:01.989 --> 00:04:05.649
And he's so broke that when he swipes his credit card to buy some yogurt.
00:04:07.028 --> 00:04:08.438
His credit card won't even go through.
00:04:09.579 --> 00:04:10.479
That's how broke he was.
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:12.098
And he was like, bro, this is the rock bottom.
00:04:12.308 --> 00:04:14.318
So see every single day now.
00:04:14.829 --> 00:04:16.509
He works the distance himself.
00:04:17.649 --> 00:04:18.668
From those moments.
00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:21.879
See, in distancing yourself.
00:04:23.309 --> 00:04:24.209
Is a good thing.
00:04:24.329 --> 00:04:26.848
It's that healthy fear, that healthy respect.
00:04:27.178 --> 00:04:31.858
And so you're working to distance yourself, remembering the bad has two facets.
00:04:32.218 --> 00:04:34.468
If you remember the bad and do nothing.
00:04:34.468 --> 00:04:37.139
To distance yourself from those moments.
00:04:37.889 --> 00:04:40.559
Then you're just going to perpetually stay a victim.
00:04:40.918 --> 00:04:49.329
But if you remember the bad and you work every day, putting in the reps. Developing your skillset and know-how.
00:04:49.718 --> 00:04:52.389
To distance yourself from those moments.
00:04:52.389 --> 00:04:54.098
You remember them at all times.
00:04:54.279 --> 00:05:00.399
So those days you don't feel like doing something the days you feel like laying up, you remember the bad.
00:05:01.689 --> 00:05:04.149
And you work to distance yourself from those moments.
00:05:05.509 --> 00:05:08.928
This is what will keep you growing.
00:05:09.528 --> 00:05:10.848
This will prevent you.
00:05:11.869 --> 00:05:12.769
From coasting.
00:05:13.478 --> 00:05:17.199
And falling asleep at the wheel sleepwalking through life.
00:05:18.459 --> 00:05:19.809
The reason why that happened.
00:05:20.889 --> 00:05:22.269
Is because you lost your awareness.
00:05:23.369 --> 00:05:25.588
Now let's talk about the second part of Tolstoy's quote.
00:05:26.158 --> 00:05:28.588
If you remember the good things that you've done.
00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:31.769
That will prevent you from doing anymore.
00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:33.238
Let me repeat that.
00:05:34.809 --> 00:05:38.649
see the first part he said, if you remember all of the bad.
00:05:39.968 --> 00:05:41.048
You won't do it anymore.
00:05:41.949 --> 00:05:45.399
Because you're constantly remembering and you're working the distance yourself from that.
00:05:45.848 --> 00:05:52.149
But the second part is, if you remember all of the good, see, remember this, you can't hold two opposing thoughts at one time.
00:05:52.899 --> 00:05:53.649
Good bad.
00:05:53.829 --> 00:05:55.478
You can't hold them both at the same time.
00:05:55.869 --> 00:05:58.059
So if you're not remembering the bad.
00:05:58.689 --> 00:06:03.908
And all you're doing is you're thinking about the good, this is what gives you that arrived mentality.
00:06:04.178 --> 00:06:05.918
This is where you think you're invincible.
00:06:06.069 --> 00:06:08.439
This is where you think you can't be stopped.
00:06:08.439 --> 00:06:10.178
See if you can be topped, you can be toppled.
00:06:10.988 --> 00:06:13.028
And so when you remember the good.
00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:15.418
You no longer do good anymore.
00:06:16.028 --> 00:06:16.718
You coast.
00:06:17.709 --> 00:06:19.778
And this is the trap that we all fall into.
00:06:20.408 --> 00:06:22.869
The solution is to have a short memory of the good.
00:06:24.338 --> 00:06:25.629
Celebrate it briefly.
00:06:26.139 --> 00:06:27.158
And then just move on.
00:06:27.428 --> 00:06:28.329
It's just part of it.
00:06:29.658 --> 00:06:31.278
But have a long memory of the bad.
00:06:32.088 --> 00:06:33.769
Let it drive you to never go back.
00:06:34.728 --> 00:06:36.528
It's not about living in fear, man.
00:06:36.949 --> 00:06:38.298
It's staying sharp.
00:06:38.298 --> 00:06:39.738
It said healthy respect.
00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:42.649
And also it's the gratitude.
00:06:43.249 --> 00:06:54.949
The gratitude about it is you're grateful that you made it through those dark trying times the times that you didn't think you were going to last another day and somehow.
00:06:55.879 --> 00:06:56.749
You made it through.
00:06:57.949 --> 00:07:01.129
And so remembering the bad is practicing gratitude.
00:07:01.579 --> 00:07:03.978
Because I don't want to go back to those moments.
00:07:05.028 --> 00:07:07.399
I could tell you this every time I've had to start over.
00:07:08.059 --> 00:07:11.478
Whether it's in fitness relationships, finances.
00:07:12.499 --> 00:07:13.728
or professionally.
00:07:13.788 --> 00:07:14.899
I got demoted, dude.
00:07:15.468 --> 00:07:18.228
I got demoted back down to the bottom rung where I first started.
00:07:19.038 --> 00:07:20.749
At the same place where I work today.
00:07:21.408 --> 00:07:23.598
I've had to re-rise through the ranks.
00:07:23.988 --> 00:07:25.129
So I get it.
00:07:26.119 --> 00:07:27.978
It was tough as best thing ever happened.
00:07:28.798 --> 00:07:29.879
I'm so grateful for it.
00:07:29.999 --> 00:07:31.079
It's what saved my life.
00:07:31.559 --> 00:07:32.249
It's funny, man.
00:07:32.249 --> 00:07:36.629
How some of the worst times in your life become some of the best platforms to stand on.
00:07:37.728 --> 00:07:43.009
Every time I've had to start over it's because I remembered the good and thought I arrived.
00:07:43.668 --> 00:07:45.019
And the lost sight of the bad.
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:46.278
I stopped doing.
00:07:47.119 --> 00:07:47.959
What got me there.
00:07:48.499 --> 00:07:49.488
And I ended up.
00:07:50.149 --> 00:07:51.319
Right back where I've started.
00:07:52.678 --> 00:07:53.369
Think about that.
00:07:53.819 --> 00:07:55.079
What got you here?
00:07:55.858 --> 00:07:57.478
It's not going to get you there.
00:07:58.139 --> 00:07:59.788
If you don't continue to work it.
00:08:00.389 --> 00:08:01.559
You can't get to here.
00:08:01.559 --> 00:08:05.788
You'll never going to get to a place in life where you just get to here and that's it.
00:08:05.788 --> 00:08:09.689
And just constantly, it's like a. Uh, motor that just continued.
00:08:09.718 --> 00:08:10.259
No.
00:08:10.889 --> 00:08:12.538
No, it's not going to happen.
00:08:12.538 --> 00:08:16.678
You can't turn that motor off and you expect it to still run.
00:08:16.709 --> 00:08:18.718
No, because you lose that momentum.
00:08:18.988 --> 00:08:20.309
You lose your skillsets.
00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:22.079
You lose that mental edge.
00:08:22.139 --> 00:08:23.158
You get soft.
00:08:23.369 --> 00:08:24.209
You coast.
00:08:25.228 --> 00:08:27.389
you erode you fall.
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Dude, all hands raised on this, The bad is what keeps the fire burning.
00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:34.198
It's what reminds you.
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To keep growing to keep putting distance between you.
00:08:38.948 --> 00:08:42.239
and the version of yourself, you never want to be again.
00:08:43.198 --> 00:08:45.028
But this is where most people fail.
00:08:45.448 --> 00:08:48.359
They remember the bad without taking action to move past it.
00:08:48.808 --> 00:08:49.828
The hover around it.
00:08:50.278 --> 00:08:51.239
They relive it.
00:08:52.528 --> 00:08:53.879
And you wonder why you're stuck.
00:08:54.839 --> 00:08:56.068
The solution is simple.
00:08:56.068 --> 00:08:56.908
It's not easy.
00:08:57.389 --> 00:08:58.379
But it is simple.
00:08:58.889 --> 00:09:00.089
You work every day.
00:09:00.778 --> 00:09:02.609
To distance yourself from the bad.
00:09:03.269 --> 00:09:04.499
You stack the good.
00:09:05.369 --> 00:09:06.479
But never settle into it.
00:09:07.778 --> 00:09:08.769
So here's your takeaway?
00:09:10.089 --> 00:09:12.219
Remember the bad productively.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.379
Use it to fuel your growth.
00:09:14.918 --> 00:09:15.729
Stack the good.
00:09:16.568 --> 00:09:17.528
Don't let it stop you.
00:09:18.369 --> 00:09:19.869
It's just next.
00:09:20.109 --> 00:09:20.979
There's always next.
00:09:21.578 --> 00:09:22.719
When you fail next.
00:09:23.859 --> 00:09:25.778
When you win next, there's always next.
00:09:25.778 --> 00:09:26.469
Just keep going.
00:09:26.918 --> 00:09:28.239
Stack the good don't.
00:09:28.239 --> 00:09:28.688
Let us stop.
00:09:28.719 --> 00:09:29.499
You keep building.
00:09:30.198 --> 00:09:33.499
When you stop paying attention, man, this is where you coast into failure.
00:09:34.489 --> 00:09:39.078
But when you stay sharp, When you embrace a healthy fear of the bad.
00:09:39.619 --> 00:09:40.519
And remember it.
00:09:41.428 --> 00:09:43.048
You'll never have to start over again.
00:09:43.198 --> 00:09:44.489
And that's what we're all about.
00:09:45.269 --> 00:09:46.918
I want you a year from now.
00:09:48.028 --> 00:09:53.548
To be able to look and from today's date is so far you're so far past that.
00:09:54.958 --> 00:09:55.469
You're like.
00:09:56.849 --> 00:09:57.568
Wow.
00:09:58.438 --> 00:10:00.538
It's because you never, you never forgot.
00:10:01.198 --> 00:10:01.889
Never forget.
00:10:03.418 --> 00:10:03.839
All right.
00:10:04.198 --> 00:10:04.889
Let's get outta here.
00:10:04.989 --> 00:10:07.749
. Thanks for being an member of what's your problem, the podcast.
00:10:08.019 --> 00:10:11.048
If I can help you with anything, you have direct access to me.
00:10:11.448 --> 00:10:12.499
Please send me a text.
00:10:12.499 --> 00:10:16.849
You can do it right there on the podcast app, or you can go to my website.
00:10:16.849 --> 00:10:20.578
marshbuice.com enjoy thousands of free content.
00:10:20.969 --> 00:10:21.538
Bottom right.
00:10:21.538 --> 00:10:22.828
Is a mic from you to me.
00:10:23.568 --> 00:10:26.208
If I can help you with something, please let me know and be glad to.
00:10:26.269 --> 00:10:27.109
Ah, to help you out.
00:10:27.318 --> 00:10:27.649
All right.
00:10:27.649 --> 00:10:28.278
Keep it simple.
00:10:28.578 --> 00:10:29.328
Keep it moving.
00:10:29.359 --> 00:10:29.958
Never settle.
00:10:29.958 --> 00:10:30.808
Stay tough peace
00:00:00.390 --> 00:00:00.629
All right.
00:00:00.629 --> 00:00:01.649
3, 2, 1. Let's get it.
00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:06.179
Welcome to "What's Your Problem?" the podcast I'm your host Marsh Buice here on What's Your Problem?
00:00:06.179 --> 00:00:08.429
We're going to give you the necessary skills.
00:00:08.939 --> 00:00:10.259
To handle the adversity.
00:00:10.659 --> 00:00:12.628
Embrace uncertainty and never settle again.
00:00:13.199 --> 00:00:14.400
That's what's your problem?
00:00:14.788 --> 00:00:18.989
It's one at one of those things, adversity, uncertainty, or complacency.
00:00:19.699 --> 00:00:24.239
Today we're going to dive into a mindset that could shift the way that you approach your life.
00:00:24.989 --> 00:00:25.829
Your goals.
00:00:26.129 --> 00:00:33.088
And your growth and I call it,"Remember the bad. But stack the good." And it's inspired by a quote.
00:00:33.689 --> 00:00:35.118
That I absolutely love.
00:00:35.719 --> 00:00:52.369
From Tolstoy, Tolstoy wrote, "Remember all the bad things you have done. And this will help you avoid doing more. But, and there's always a, but if you remember the good things you have done, Well, that will prevent you from doing anymore.".
00:00:53.329 --> 00:00:54.020
I love this.
00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:57.049
So think about that for a second.
00:00:57.380 --> 00:00:59.000
And let's unpack it.
00:00:59.899 --> 00:01:02.210
First let's talk about remembering the bad.
00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:04.790
And when I say, remember the bad.
00:01:05.090 --> 00:01:06.019
It sounds like.
00:01:06.530 --> 00:01:09.019
I'm just putting you into this victim mindset.
00:01:09.049 --> 00:01:10.099
It's not about that at all.
00:01:10.099 --> 00:01:12.049
It's not about dwelling on your mistakes.
00:01:12.349 --> 00:01:16.340
It's not about kicking the can down the road, being yourself, up playing the victim.
00:01:16.370 --> 00:01:17.269
Woe is me.
00:01:17.269 --> 00:01:18.170
Why is this happening?
00:01:18.379 --> 00:01:19.549
It's not about that at all.
00:01:20.480 --> 00:01:26.209
Remembering the bad is what I call productively, remembering and productive remembrance.
00:01:27.140 --> 00:01:28.340
Is where you pay attention.
00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:30.530
Now I love that phrase.
00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:31.519
Pay.
00:01:32.150 --> 00:01:35.420
Attention you ever think about why we say pay attention?
00:01:35.870 --> 00:01:37.670
Because when you pay for something.
00:01:38.390 --> 00:01:39.890
You're making an investment.
00:01:40.370 --> 00:01:42.109
You're taking deliberate action.
00:01:42.780 --> 00:01:44.250
Paying attention is the same.
00:01:44.790 --> 00:01:46.888
So you're investing your focus.
00:01:47.698 --> 00:01:49.650
And you're actively staying sharp.
00:01:50.638 --> 00:01:51.900
And refusing the coast.
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:54.009
Because, let me tell you something.
00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:55.540
The only thing that you can coast.
00:01:56.588 --> 00:01:57.489
Is into failure.
00:01:58.239 --> 00:02:02.409
See when you stop paying attention, stop paying attention.
00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:05.109
This is when you relax into complacency.
00:02:05.739 --> 00:02:07.569
And this is where the erosion starts.
00:02:08.229 --> 00:02:09.338
And eventually.
00:02:09.729 --> 00:02:12.069
Remember the timeline we're on eventually.
00:02:12.069 --> 00:02:12.610
And ultimately.
00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:14.050
Eventually.
00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:17.740
Things are gonna start perpetuating.
00:02:18.219 --> 00:02:20.019
And ultimately you're going to fail.
00:02:20.740 --> 00:02:22.360
Not because of the circumstances.
00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:29.050
It's not the circumstances, but because you stop making the adjustments, so you weren't paying attention.
00:02:29.740 --> 00:02:32.709
And so you choose to ignore.
00:02:33.399 --> 00:02:34.810
And be like, oh, I'll deal with that.
00:02:34.810 --> 00:02:36.069
You got complacent.
00:02:36.939 --> 00:02:41.960
And you thought it was just going to kind of handle itself., You lost your awareness.
00:02:43.169 --> 00:02:45.000
And then boom, and all cascaded.
00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:47.789
See, all you had to do was keep the minors minor.
00:02:47.789 --> 00:02:48.870
They'll never become major.
00:02:49.229 --> 00:02:50.099
It's what I always say.
00:02:50.520 --> 00:02:53.669
So when you pay attention, You're adjusting.
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:55.560
To those circumstances.
00:02:56.069 --> 00:02:57.000
In real time.
00:02:57.979 --> 00:02:59.840
That's why healthy fear of bad.
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:01.610
Is important.
00:03:03.050 --> 00:03:05.870
I mean, think about all of the darkest places that you've been.
00:03:06.469 --> 00:03:07.699
Maybe you were overweight.
00:03:08.149 --> 00:03:11.300
Maybe you were drinking too much toxic relationships.
00:03:11.750 --> 00:03:13.039
Financial struggles.
00:03:13.610 --> 00:03:14.389
Bankrupt.
00:03:15.050 --> 00:03:16.459
Maxed out, whatever.
00:03:16.490 --> 00:03:18.019
Just think about fired.
00:03:18.718 --> 00:03:21.568
Whatever it was that healthy fear of the bad things.
00:03:22.288 --> 00:03:24.239
Is what keeps you motivated?
00:03:24.748 --> 00:03:25.679
To never go back.
00:03:26.729 --> 00:03:27.688
In one of his books.
00:03:27.688 --> 00:03:28.889
I don't remember which one it was.
00:03:28.889 --> 00:03:31.258
I remember Ryan Serhant talking about this.
00:03:32.038 --> 00:03:34.199
He's a real estate mogul today in New York.
00:03:34.229 --> 00:03:36.989
But he wasn't always that way.
00:03:37.500 --> 00:03:42.149
So he said every single day, He works to distance himself from the place that he's been.
00:03:42.538 --> 00:03:46.139
His rock bottom was when he decided to change his life.
00:03:46.468 --> 00:03:49.528
Become a real estate broker in New York city.
00:03:50.139 --> 00:03:51.098
and 9/11 hit.
00:03:51.128 --> 00:03:54.818
So he decides to take control over his life.
00:03:55.549 --> 00:03:56.598
He gets hired.
00:03:57.669 --> 00:03:59.288
To become a real estate broker.
00:04:00.239 --> 00:04:01.449
911 hits.
00:04:01.989 --> 00:04:05.649
And he's so broke that when he swipes his credit card to buy some yogurt.
00:04:07.028 --> 00:04:08.438
His credit card won't even go through.
00:04:09.579 --> 00:04:10.479
That's how broke he was.
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:12.098
And he was like, bro, this is the rock bottom.
00:04:12.308 --> 00:04:14.318
So see every single day now.
00:04:14.829 --> 00:04:16.509
He works the distance himself.
00:04:17.649 --> 00:04:18.668
From those moments.
00:04:19.439 --> 00:04:21.879
See, in distancing yourself.
00:04:23.309 --> 00:04:24.209
Is a good thing.
00:04:24.329 --> 00:04:26.848
It's that healthy fear, that healthy respect.
00:04:27.178 --> 00:04:31.858
And so you're working to distance yourself, remembering the bad has two facets.
00:04:32.218 --> 00:04:34.468
If you remember the bad and do nothing.
00:04:34.468 --> 00:04:37.139
To distance yourself from those moments.
00:04:37.889 --> 00:04:40.559
Then you're just going to perpetually stay a victim.
00:04:40.918 --> 00:04:49.329
But if you remember the bad and you work every day, putting in the reps. Developing your skillset and know-how.
00:04:49.718 --> 00:04:52.389
To distance yourself from those moments.
00:04:52.389 --> 00:04:54.098
You remember them at all times.
00:04:54.279 --> 00:05:00.399
So those days you don't feel like doing something the days you feel like laying up, you remember the bad.
00:05:01.689 --> 00:05:04.149
And you work to distance yourself from those moments.
00:05:05.509 --> 00:05:08.928
This is what will keep you growing.
00:05:09.528 --> 00:05:10.848
This will prevent you.
00:05:11.869 --> 00:05:12.769
From coasting.
00:05:13.478 --> 00:05:17.199
And falling asleep at the wheel sleepwalking through life.
00:05:18.459 --> 00:05:19.809
The reason why that happened.
00:05:20.889 --> 00:05:22.269
Is because you lost your awareness.
00:05:23.369 --> 00:05:25.588
Now let's talk about the second part of Tolstoy's quote.
00:05:26.158 --> 00:05:28.588
If you remember the good things that you've done.
00:05:29.759 --> 00:05:31.769
That will prevent you from doing anymore.
00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:33.238
Let me repeat that.
00:05:34.809 --> 00:05:38.649
see the first part he said, if you remember all of the bad.
00:05:39.968 --> 00:05:41.048
You won't do it anymore.
00:05:41.949 --> 00:05:45.399
Because you're constantly remembering and you're working the distance yourself from that.
00:05:45.848 --> 00:05:52.149
But the second part is, if you remember all of the good, see, remember this, you can't hold two opposing thoughts at one time.
00:05:52.899 --> 00:05:53.649
Good bad.
00:05:53.829 --> 00:05:55.478
You can't hold them both at the same time.
00:05:55.869 --> 00:05:58.059
So if you're not remembering the bad.
00:05:58.689 --> 00:06:03.908
And all you're doing is you're thinking about the good, this is what gives you that arrived mentality.
00:06:04.178 --> 00:06:05.918
This is where you think you're invincible.
00:06:06.069 --> 00:06:08.439
This is where you think you can't be stopped.
00:06:08.439 --> 00:06:10.178
See if you can be topped, you can be toppled.
00:06:10.988 --> 00:06:13.028
And so when you remember the good.
00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:15.418
You no longer do good anymore.
00:06:16.028 --> 00:06:16.718
You coast.
00:06:17.709 --> 00:06:19.778
And this is the trap that we all fall into.
00:06:20.408 --> 00:06:22.869
The solution is to have a short memory of the good.
00:06:24.338 --> 00:06:25.629
Celebrate it briefly.
00:06:26.139 --> 00:06:27.158
And then just move on.
00:06:27.428 --> 00:06:28.329
It's just part of it.
00:06:29.658 --> 00:06:31.278
But have a long memory of the bad.
00:06:32.088 --> 00:06:33.769
Let it drive you to never go back.
00:06:34.728 --> 00:06:36.528
It's not about living in fear, man.
00:06:36.949 --> 00:06:38.298
It's staying sharp.
00:06:38.298 --> 00:06:39.738
It said healthy respect.
00:06:40.459 --> 00:06:42.649
And also it's the gratitude.
00:06:43.249 --> 00:06:54.949
The gratitude about it is you're grateful that you made it through those dark trying times the times that you didn't think you were going to last another day and somehow.
00:06:55.879 --> 00:06:56.749
You made it through.
00:06:57.949 --> 00:07:01.129
And so remembering the bad is practicing gratitude.
00:07:01.579 --> 00:07:03.978
Because I don't want to go back to those moments.
00:07:05.028 --> 00:07:07.399
I could tell you this every time I've had to start over.
00:07:08.059 --> 00:07:11.478
Whether it's in fitness relationships, finances.
00:07:12.499 --> 00:07:13.728
or professionally.
00:07:13.788 --> 00:07:14.899
I got demoted, dude.
00:07:15.468 --> 00:07:18.228
I got demoted back down to the bottom rung where I first started.
00:07:19.038 --> 00:07:20.749
At the same place where I work today.
00:07:21.408 --> 00:07:23.598
I've had to re-rise through the ranks.
00:07:23.988 --> 00:07:25.129
So I get it.
00:07:26.119 --> 00:07:27.978
It was tough as best thing ever happened.
00:07:28.798 --> 00:07:29.879
I'm so grateful for it.
00:07:29.999 --> 00:07:31.079
It's what saved my life.
00:07:31.559 --> 00:07:32.249
It's funny, man.
00:07:32.249 --> 00:07:36.629
How some of the worst times in your life become some of the best platforms to stand on.
00:07:37.728 --> 00:07:43.009
Every time I've had to start over it's because I remembered the good and thought I arrived.
00:07:43.668 --> 00:07:45.019
And the lost sight of the bad.
00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:46.278
I stopped doing.
00:07:47.119 --> 00:07:47.959
What got me there.
00:07:48.499 --> 00:07:49.488
And I ended up.
00:07:50.149 --> 00:07:51.319
Right back where I've started.
00:07:52.678 --> 00:07:53.369
Think about that.
00:07:53.819 --> 00:07:55.079
What got you here?
00:07:55.858 --> 00:07:57.478
It's not going to get you there.
00:07:58.139 --> 00:07:59.788
If you don't continue to work it.
00:08:00.389 --> 00:08:01.559
You can't get to here.
00:08:01.559 --> 00:08:05.788
You'll never going to get to a place in life where you just get to here and that's it.
00:08:05.788 --> 00:08:09.689
And just constantly, it's like a. Uh, motor that just continued.
00:08:09.718 --> 00:08:10.259
No.
00:08:10.889 --> 00:08:12.538
No, it's not going to happen.
00:08:12.538 --> 00:08:16.678
You can't turn that motor off and you expect it to still run.
00:08:16.709 --> 00:08:18.718
No, because you lose that momentum.
00:08:18.988 --> 00:08:20.309
You lose your skillsets.
00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:22.079
You lose that mental edge.
00:08:22.139 --> 00:08:23.158
You get soft.
00:08:23.369 --> 00:08:24.209
You coast.
00:08:25.228 --> 00:08:27.389
you erode you fall.
00:08:28.939 --> 00:08:32.788
Dude, all hands raised on this, The bad is what keeps the fire burning.
00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:34.198
It's what reminds you.
00:08:34.828 --> 00:08:38.009
To keep growing to keep putting distance between you.
00:08:38.948 --> 00:08:42.239
and the version of yourself, you never want to be again.
00:08:43.198 --> 00:08:45.028
But this is where most people fail.
00:08:45.448 --> 00:08:48.359
They remember the bad without taking action to move past it.
00:08:48.808 --> 00:08:49.828
The hover around it.
00:08:50.278 --> 00:08:51.239
They relive it.
00:08:52.528 --> 00:08:53.879
And you wonder why you're stuck.
00:08:54.839 --> 00:08:56.068
The solution is simple.
00:08:56.068 --> 00:08:56.908
It's not easy.
00:08:57.389 --> 00:08:58.379
But it is simple.
00:08:58.889 --> 00:09:00.089
You work every day.
00:09:00.778 --> 00:09:02.609
To distance yourself from the bad.
00:09:03.269 --> 00:09:04.499
You stack the good.
00:09:05.369 --> 00:09:06.479
But never settle into it.
00:09:07.778 --> 00:09:08.769
So here's your takeaway?
00:09:10.089 --> 00:09:12.219
Remember the bad productively.
00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.379
Use it to fuel your growth.
00:09:14.918 --> 00:09:15.729
Stack the good.
00:09:16.568 --> 00:09:17.528
Don't let it stop you.
00:09:18.369 --> 00:09:19.869
It's just next.
00:09:20.109 --> 00:09:20.979
There's always next.
00:09:21.578 --> 00:09:22.719
When you fail next.
00:09:23.859 --> 00:09:25.778
When you win next, there's always next.
00:09:25.778 --> 00:09:26.469
Just keep going.
00:09:26.918 --> 00:09:28.239
Stack the good don't.
00:09:28.239 --> 00:09:28.688
Let us stop.
00:09:28.719 --> 00:09:29.499
You keep building.
00:09:30.198 --> 00:09:33.499
When you stop paying attention, man, this is where you coast into failure.
00:09:34.489 --> 00:09:39.078
But when you stay sharp, When you embrace a healthy fear of the bad.
00:09:39.619 --> 00:09:40.519
And remember it.
00:09:41.428 --> 00:09:43.048
You'll never have to start over again.
00:09:43.198 --> 00:09:44.489
And that's what we're all about.
00:09:45.269 --> 00:09:46.918
I want you a year from now.
00:09:48.028 --> 00:09:53.548
To be able to look and from today's date is so far you're so far past that.
00:09:54.958 --> 00:09:55.469
You're like.
00:09:56.849 --> 00:09:57.568
Wow.
00:09:58.438 --> 00:10:00.538
It's because you never, you never forgot.
00:10:01.198 --> 00:10:01.889
Never forget.
00:10:03.418 --> 00:10:03.839
All right.
00:10:04.198 --> 00:10:04.889
Let's get outta here.
00:10:04.989 --> 00:10:07.749
. Thanks for being an member of what's your problem, the podcast.
00:10:08.019 --> 00:10:11.048
If I can help you with anything, you have direct access to me.
00:10:11.448 --> 00:10:12.499
Please send me a text.
00:10:12.499 --> 00:10:16.849
You can do it right there on the podcast app, or you can go to my website.
00:10:16.849 --> 00:10:20.578
marshbuice.com enjoy thousands of free content.
00:10:20.969 --> 00:10:21.538
Bottom right.
00:10:21.538 --> 00:10:22.828
Is a mic from you to me.
00:10:23.568 --> 00:10:26.208
If I can help you with something, please let me know and be glad to.
00:10:26.269 --> 00:10:27.109
Ah, to help you out.
00:10:27.318 --> 00:10:27.649
All right.
00:10:27.649 --> 00:10:28.278
Keep it simple.
00:10:28.578 --> 00:10:29.328
Keep it moving.
00:10:29.359 --> 00:10:29.958
Never settle.
00:10:29.958 --> 00:10:30.808
Stay tough peace