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Aug. 5, 2024

851. The Only 3 Things You Can Control

851. The Only 3 Things You Can Control

In this episode of "What’s Your Problem?", we delve into the concept of focusing on what you can control in life. Many of us live in a state of quiet desperation, reacting to external circumstances beyond our control. But a powerful shift occurs when we turn our focus inward to our mind, body, and soul.

Join us as we explore practical ways to nurture your inner self, even when the outside world feels chaotic. I share my personal journey through challenging times and how maintaining control over my inner world helped me navigate external turmoil. This episode is a reminder that you can transform your life by doing the inner work and staying consistent.

Tune in to learn how to stop reacting and start living intentionally. Keep it simple. Keep moving. Never settle. Stay tough

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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. 

Transcript
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00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.930
I believe that most of us live a life of quiet desperation.

00:00:05.849 --> 00:00:07.078
I believe that quote is true.

00:00:07.980 --> 00:00:11.759
And we live our lives in quiet desperation because we're reacting.

00:00:13.259 --> 00:00:17.579
To all the outside circumstances where reacting to things.

00:00:18.179 --> 00:00:19.800
That are not within our control.

00:00:21.599 --> 00:00:24.719
Most things outside of you, you can't control.

00:00:26.129 --> 00:00:26.638
You can't.

00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:30.260
And how much worse does our life get?

00:00:31.248 --> 00:00:33.079
When we try to control.

00:00:33.799 --> 00:00:35.210
What is not controllable.

00:00:36.170 --> 00:00:39.020
Let me tell you the three things that are within your control.

00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:42.049
That's your mind, body and soul.

00:00:43.340 --> 00:00:44.329
That's your inner man.

00:00:44.749 --> 00:00:45.710
Your inner spirit.

00:00:45.738 --> 00:00:54.109
So no matter how bad things are on the outside, Don't ever let it affect what goes on in the inside.

00:00:54.738 --> 00:00:56.209
And this is a practice, man.

00:00:56.209 --> 00:00:58.670
This is not something that's just like a light switch.

00:00:58.698 --> 00:01:00.679
You're like, okay, I can do it now.

00:01:00.740 --> 00:01:01.219
No.

00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:03.799
Because you're going to get tested.

00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:05.780
You're going to be stretched.

00:01:06.468 --> 00:01:10.429
There were going to be times when you begin to focus on the inside of you.

00:01:10.730 --> 00:01:12.409
Your mind, body and soul.

00:01:13.578 --> 00:01:15.769
It seems like everything on the outside.

00:01:16.489 --> 00:01:17.870
Gets worse and worse and worse.

00:01:18.530 --> 00:01:20.269
The most powerful thing.

00:01:21.558 --> 00:01:25.640
That you have, it must be reminded of at this time.

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Is inside of you is within your control.

00:01:30.299 --> 00:01:33.000
And it is important that your actions.

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That everything that you do today.

00:01:35.609 --> 00:01:36.269
Feed.

00:01:37.049 --> 00:01:38.400
Your mind, body and soul.

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I think we forget about this.

00:01:42.140 --> 00:01:44.359
And we swing wildly at life.

00:01:46.019 --> 00:01:48.930
Trying to force circumstances to go in our favor.

00:01:50.579 --> 00:01:52.260
And when they don't go in our favor.

00:01:53.370 --> 00:01:54.629
We numb ourselves.

00:01:56.090 --> 00:01:57.560
With alcohol.

00:01:58.219 --> 00:01:59.239
With food.

00:02:00.049 --> 00:02:02.420
With toxic environments.

00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:06.019
And the situation gets worse and worse and worse.

00:02:07.310 --> 00:02:13.129
I know, it feels like at times, That you're riding a runaway horse.

00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:18.830
And like you have no control over the reigns you may not be able to steer that horse.

00:02:20.629 --> 00:02:22.280
But you can control how you ride it.

00:02:23.900 --> 00:02:25.340
And that's your mind, body and soul.

00:02:25.340 --> 00:02:28.520
So even when it looks like that, you're going to go off the cliff.

00:02:28.969 --> 00:02:29.449
You're not.

00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:31.310
Just don't react to it.

00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:34.719
And I learned this firsthand in my life, man.

00:02:35.830 --> 00:02:38.259
Years ago I was in a toxic relationship.

00:02:39.189 --> 00:02:40.689
Toxic environment violent.

00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:45.159
In fact, And there were times where I was baited.

00:02:45.639 --> 00:02:46.659
There were times.

00:02:47.490 --> 00:02:49.960
where situations arose.

00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:52.659
To see if I would react.

00:02:54.550 --> 00:03:04.960
But it was something thankfully within that, during that time, I switched from the outside and reacting to everything on the outside to switched within.

00:03:06.219 --> 00:03:08.530
And so what are the three things I can control?

00:03:09.819 --> 00:03:11.469
And that's my mind, body and soul.

00:03:12.550 --> 00:03:13.780
And I began to feed.

00:03:14.710 --> 00:03:17.469
Just those things that were within my control.

00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:21.789
And it's funny, man, when I did that.

00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:26.289
It seemed like everything else got worse on the outside.

00:03:27.939 --> 00:03:29.800
Everything on the outside was crumbling.

00:03:31.139 --> 00:03:33.120
Everything only inside was fortifying.

00:03:34.889 --> 00:03:36.539
How ironic that is in life.

00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:39.349
I was demoted.

00:03:40.939 --> 00:03:42.110
I was living out of my truck.

00:03:42.139 --> 00:03:44.210
Everything that I owned was in the backseat of my truck.

00:03:45.849 --> 00:03:47.349
I had to take a shower at the gym.

00:03:48.849 --> 00:03:50.710
And I parked way away in the parking lot.

00:03:50.710 --> 00:03:53.229
So nobody would see that I was living out of my truck.

00:03:53.349 --> 00:03:54.340
I didn't want anybody to know.

00:03:54.340 --> 00:03:55.479
And I showed up for work.

00:03:55.930 --> 00:03:58.810
I was in a leadership position and nobody knew what was going on.

00:04:00.310 --> 00:04:02.860
The only thing I had control over.

00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:05.490
And do what I stumbled upon this.

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I was adamant about.

00:04:09.449 --> 00:04:11.189
Not letting my mind drift off.

00:04:12.930 --> 00:04:15.780
I was adamant about not letting my health.

00:04:16.230 --> 00:04:16.980
Go awry.

00:04:18.298 --> 00:04:19.048
' cause I knew.

00:04:20.430 --> 00:04:21.778
Nothing stays the same.

00:04:22.259 --> 00:04:25.680
I just figured that if I do the right things within.

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Everything on the outside will eventually line up and it did.

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But you got to stay the course, man.

00:04:33.598 --> 00:04:37.178
And so many times we let the outside influence the inside.

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And so things look really bad.

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Things look really toxic.

00:04:42.759 --> 00:04:44.110
Things look hopeless.

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And we release.

00:04:47.559 --> 00:04:49.809
The few things that are within our control.

00:04:51.339 --> 00:04:52.839
And that's your mind, body and soul.

00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:58.620
So when all hell was breaking loose, I was adamant about working out every single day.

00:04:59.548 --> 00:05:02.728
If anything, man, it was the thing that just reduced the stress.

00:05:02.728 --> 00:05:07.079
So I didn't have to think about how bad things were, how broke I was.

00:05:08.579 --> 00:05:10.649
Mentally physically, financially.

00:05:11.968 --> 00:05:13.348
Spiritually broke.

00:05:15.269 --> 00:05:16.108
I just worked out.

00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:19.108
I read every single day.

00:05:19.170 --> 00:05:21.060
I didn't have enough money to buy a book.

00:05:21.718 --> 00:05:23.339
So I got a library card.

00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:25.259
And began to check out books.

00:05:25.769 --> 00:05:26.968
And then I began to write.

00:05:28.228 --> 00:05:31.439
And a lot of what I wrote about were passages from books.

00:05:32.009 --> 00:05:34.108
Because I didn't know how I was supposed to think.

00:05:34.468 --> 00:05:36.089
I didn't know what I was supposed to think.

00:05:37.468 --> 00:05:41.848
So I had to borrow someone else's mindset, borrow someone else's voice.

00:05:42.569 --> 00:05:43.920
Until I could find my own.

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I didn't let go of those three things.

00:05:49.249 --> 00:05:50.569
And there were days, man.

00:05:51.319 --> 00:05:52.699
I was barely holding on.

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They were days.

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I just wanted to end it all.

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Not that I wanted to quit.

00:06:01.098 --> 00:06:03.108
It was just, I didn't want to hurt anymore.

00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:07.639
And I wanted to just release the reins and be like, I give up.

00:06:08.658 --> 00:06:09.408
But I just said.

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Workout.

00:06:12.168 --> 00:06:12.709
Read.

00:06:13.598 --> 00:06:15.649
write Go to work.

00:06:17.059 --> 00:06:17.358
Boom.

00:06:17.749 --> 00:06:18.738
Boom, boom.

00:06:20.579 --> 00:06:22.348
I wasn't in control of the results.

00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:25.439
I was only in control.

00:06:27.389 --> 00:06:28.408
Of what I did.

00:06:29.999 --> 00:06:32.069
That would put me at least in position.

00:06:33.478 --> 00:06:34.439
To eventually.

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Bring me better results.

00:06:37.408 --> 00:06:38.608
To eventually.

00:06:39.059 --> 00:06:40.468
Bring me light into my life.

00:06:41.848 --> 00:06:48.838
So instead of living your life in quiet desperation, I think you should live your life.

00:06:49.559 --> 00:06:51.088
And quiet perspiration.

00:06:52.509 --> 00:06:53.468
And do the work.

00:06:54.459 --> 00:06:55.088
Within.

00:06:56.528 --> 00:06:57.488
Do the work.

00:06:58.059 --> 00:06:59.379
That is an alignment.

00:07:00.968 --> 00:07:02.559
That puts you in position.

00:07:04.059 --> 00:07:05.559
For favorable results.

00:07:06.579 --> 00:07:08.709
In anything that violates that.

00:07:09.819 --> 00:07:10.838
You don't feed into it.

00:07:12.278 --> 00:07:13.358
You don't play a part in it.

00:07:14.528 --> 00:07:15.759
It's going to try to lower you.

00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:18.908
it's going to try to get you to react.

00:07:19.149 --> 00:07:20.379
It's going to try to bait you.

00:07:22.238 --> 00:07:23.918
And there are going to be times, man, where you.

00:07:25.418 --> 00:07:26.738
Almost want to reach for it.

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Don't.

00:07:29.749 --> 00:07:31.038
What feeds.

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My mind, body and soul in the right way.

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That will bring me favorable results.

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This is an inner strength, man.

00:07:41.468 --> 00:07:44.319
And you'll get better with time with repetition.

00:07:45.338 --> 00:07:46.838
And don't worry about the results.

00:07:47.348 --> 00:07:49.449
Lately, I've been talking to you about that.

00:07:49.809 --> 00:07:51.278
Don't worry about the results.

00:07:52.129 --> 00:07:53.168
Worry about the effort.

00:07:54.038 --> 00:07:55.809
We're about the system that you're following.

00:07:56.619 --> 00:07:58.629
What are things that are within your control.

00:07:58.928 --> 00:08:00.428
So if you find yourself.

00:08:01.569 --> 00:08:03.189
In a tough situation right now.

00:08:03.699 --> 00:08:05.139
It may be dark in your life.

00:08:05.649 --> 00:08:06.879
It may look hopeless.

00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:10.629
It may look like there's no end.

00:08:12.488 --> 00:08:13.538
They may look toxic.

00:08:15.059 --> 00:08:16.168
Don't look outside.

00:08:17.548 --> 00:08:18.269
Look inside.

00:08:19.588 --> 00:08:20.189
That's yours.

00:08:21.209 --> 00:08:22.019
It's precious.

00:08:22.678 --> 00:08:23.459
It belongs to you.

00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:25.749
You control that.

00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:28.959
And everything on the outside.

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We'll eventually line up for you.

00:08:32.259 --> 00:08:33.129
And ultimately.

00:08:34.448 --> 00:08:35.318
You're going to be okay.

00:08:37.178 --> 00:08:38.379
All right, keep it simple.

00:08:38.408 --> 00:08:39.158
Keep it moving.

00:08:39.188 --> 00:08:39.879
Never settle.

00:08:39.908 --> 00:08:40.568
Stay tough.

00:08:41.139 --> 00:08:41.528
Peace.