710. Don't Answer. Don't Ask. | 2 Ways To Build Self-belief, Confidence, & Mental Toughness.

Hey, you wanna build self-esteem boost self-belief and strengthen self-confidence in yourself and others. Don't be so quick to answer others and be even slower to ask for help today on the sales life, I'm gonna show you a quick method that I use to build mental toughness and gain independence. Not only for myself, but also for others as well. This is the sales life. I'm your host marsh buice and I created the sales life because I believe the number one skill that you need to embrace uncertainty, handle adversity and never settle. Is the ability to sell, but you don't have to be in sales to learn how to sell. I'll take the skills that I've learned in over two decades of the sales profession, and I'll show you how I've applied these to every area of my life and how you can too. So if you're trying to get back up after life has slapped you down, or you're trying to move up because you feel like life is kind of stalled out. If you want to have more, do more, be more, then you're gonna have to learn to sell more. I'm so lucky to be back here with you for episode 710. Wow. And these are the ones that we count. There are other ones that we don't count, man. And thank you for supporting the sales life. If you've been here before, thank you so much. I appreciate you continuing to share the sales life with others. And if this is your first time here, welcome aboard subscribe. So that way you don't miss another episode, So let's talk about don't answer. Don't ask and many times, man, I purposefully won't answer a question from a friend, coworker. And sometimes even my own child, because the space is what forces them to have to come up with an answer or solution for themselves. Most times, because I procrastinate on purpose, I'll get a text back or when I call back, they say, nevermind. I figured it. That's music to my ears. See when the answer wasn't readily available, the other person had to come up with an answer themselves. Not answering right away, builds self-belief and confidence in the other person. And you're doing them a favor and they don't even know it you can throw it in their face later, if you wanted to. See a decision is a seed of self belief, many times when they're forced to make a decision on their own, most of the time they're right. And when they find out they're right, they puff their chest up a little bit. They hold their head up a little bit more. And if they're wrong, it's not detrimental. It's easily correctable. The way I look at it, any decision that you make on your own is a good decision, because at least you made a decision This is how you learn to make decisions. How do you learn to make better decisions? If you're always dependent on someone else to give you the answer, because see decisions have outcomes and consequences, and when you have to make it on your own, this is where you gotta own it. It's really the difference between truly. versus being told. And This is what's gonna strip you away from this victim mindset. The victim mindset is where someone else is always pointing the finger. Well, he told me, no. See, when you have to come up with decisions on your own, you get outcomes. Some of them are really good. Some of them were just a little bit off. Some of 'em may have been really, really bad. It's okay. There's consequences. It's fixable and when they have to correct the decision themselves, this is what creates that pain. When you have to double and triple work, you have to call back, you have to eat a little Crow, you have to apologize. You have to feel the sting of rejection. You have to feel some of those negative words coming at you. It causes you to have to confront! See , this is why confrontation is one of the five skills that you need in your sales life, because it forces you. These decisions force you to have to go back at it again, gotta clean up your mess, gotta fix it. And because you have to fix it on your own and you do fix. This is what develops that mental toughness, that emotional equilibrium and the confidence is carried forward to the next moment. Even if their confidence took a hit, they have to figure out how to build it back. And because they know that you're not gonna be there to help them with the next answer. They gotta figure out how to move forward and build it back at the same time. This is what strengthens that self-confidence, it's a crazy paradox, right? This is one thing that I love and hate about sales profession, because my confidence is tested and I lose my confidence and no one is there to shoot me up with a little bit more confidence. There's nothing I can do other than go earn it. But. Having to go earn it on my own. This is what develops that strength that no one can take from you. As I not only build it back to what it was, then I've gotta continue forward and build it even higher than that. So that way, when it takes a hit again, the level it failed to previously. Now, when it falls, it's a level higher. See how that works and it just perpetuates, man, it gets stronger and stronger and stronger. So when others ask you a question, give it some space and resist the temptation to answer it. Make 'em, figure it out on their own. And here's the flip side of the coin, because you're not so quick to answer now. You can't be so quick to ask because you gotta live. By example, my formula is simple F-I-U...F-I-O...FMO. For those of you who don't like curse words. Spoiler alert, cover your ears. My formula is simple. Fuck it up. Figure it out. Fucking move on. That's my formula, man. That's how I rock. And I tell others, dude, you gotta fuck it up on your own. Then you gotta figure it out. And then you gotta F and move on. Keep it moving. Think about it, what lessons are not only most memorable, but most used by you today, the ones that you had to figure out on your own, right? When you had no choice when no one was coming in to rescue you. When you seemingly had no options, you made a way outta no way. And this is what created the no way. No way. I can't believe I did that on my own. More self-belief more confidence, more mental toughness just feeds upon itself in a productive way. This is guaranteed to work. The only way it would stop working. is if you quit doing it, it's the only way it's a guaranteed win, not immediately, but in the long run, in the grand scheme of things, I have a friend who goes one step further. He tells his son, go figure it out on your own and you cannot come ask me for. Until you get past your sticking point. So whenever you get to a sticking point, you're not allowed to come get dad to come figure it out. Nope. You get past that sticking point, not to it. You get past the sticking point and then I'll come help you. And his son may be frustrated may be crying, but he resists the tempt. To go in and swoop in and many times because he forces his son to go one step further, his son figures it out. See, this is what I'm talking about. You want stronger kids, you wanna be surrounded by stronger people that you work with. Don't be so quick to answer. Don't be so quick to come up with the solutions. Think about how many projects you've completed for your kid. Think about how many times that you've gone in and done someone else's job for them. It's the quickest way, but it's also the weakest way. So initially, yes, you're gonna slow down, but you're gonna speed up in the future. Because you've created them to become independent and that frees you up to go do more things. It's a byproduct. You slow down, you help them. The outcome in turn helps you. If you truly care about someone and want them to stand on their own, don't be so quick to come in and save them if you're in sales and have a question about your product, don't ask anyone for the answer. Go figure it out yourself. It's impossible for me to teach you everything about sales. And when you force yourself to go find the answers, this is what's gonna deepen your knowledge base. This is also, what's gonna strengthen your commitment. I E skin in the game. The more you invest in this. The more that you're going to stay with it. And also it develops the anchor. So when storms hit, you've got such a deep knowledge base. You're good. You can weather the storm sucks, but you can weather the storm. Getting the answer yourself also shows your true professionalism, not only to customers, but also to coworkers alike. My sales manager used to do this to me all the time. My first year in sales was terrible yet it's led to a beautiful life because he let me just sit in there and just flail. And fail I didn't know the answers. I didn't have enough experience. I knew he had the answers. I knew he had the experience. He run laps around me yet. He made me just sit in there and tread water and I would have to sit in there and come up with something. It wouldn't let me get up. I had to come up with something. And the only time he would come in is if it was the breaking point and they were getting up to leave and he would come in and say, just a few words and all of a sudden, boom, the deal is made. And I'm like, what the hell just happened? And he told me one night, he said, I'll let you go under, but I'll never let you drown. I'm doing this because I won't be here forever. This is how you become that go-to person to others, but it's also how you become that go-to person to yourself, because you had to figure it out before. You know, you can figure it out again. Thanks for being a part of the sales life for more on the sales life. Go to MARSHBUICE.COM that's M a R S H B U I C E. And there you will find thousands of free resources from blogs. To videos to of course, podcast episodes while you're there @marshbuice.com and the bottom right, is a mic from you to me, let me know what's going on in your world and how I can help. I'm no hair, but I'm all ears. Remember the greatest sale that you will ever make is the sale you on you because you're more than enough. Stay amazing. Stay in the sales life.